In my previous article addressed to young people, I shared a simple yet uncomfortable message: “Don’t convince your parents.”
That message came from listening deeply to many young minds who are confused, anxious, and emotionally exhausted—not because they lack capability, but because they feel unheard.

This article is the other side of that same conversation.
This one is for parents.

When Love Quietly Turns Into Control

Most parents love their children deeply.
That love is genuine. That intention is pure.

Yet, somewhere along the way, love quietly transforms into control, and concern slowly becomes imposition.

As parents, we often believe—consciously or unconsciously—that our children are an extension of us.
That because we gave them life, we also have the right to decide how that life should be lived.

We tell ourselves:

• “I know what is best for my child.”

• “I have seen the world; they have not.”

• “If I don’t push them, they will fail.”

And from this belief, we begin to direct, demand, and sometimes dictate.

The Child’s Silent Struggle

What many parents do not see is what happens inside the child during this process.

When a teenager or a growing adult tries to express a different thought, a different aspiration, or a different dream—and is immediately dismissed, corrected, or judged—the child does not suddenly become wise or disciplined.

Instead, one of three things usually happens:

1. They develop self-doubt
   They begin to question their own intelligence, intuition, and capability.
   “Maybe I am not smart enough.”
   “Maybe I don’t know what I want.”

2. They become aggressive or rebellious
   Not because they are irresponsible, but because they feel trapped and unheard.

3. They shut down completely
   They stop trying.
   They stop sharing.
   They stop dreaming out loud.

And the most painful part?
They often carry this confusion alone.

When Listening Is Replaced With Labelling

Many parents, without realizing it, label their children when they don’t agree:

• “You are immature.”

• “You don’t understand the real world.”

• “You are being disrespectful.”

But disagreement is not disrespect.
Questioning is not incompetence.
Silence is not clarity.

When children sense that opening up will only invite criticism or emotional drama, they stop opening up altogether.

And that is where confusion begins.

Guidance Is Not the Same as Direction

There is a profound difference between guiding a child and directing a child.

• Direction says: “Do this because I said so.”

• Guidance says: “Help me understand what you are thinking.”

Children do not need parents to design their lives.
They need parents who can hold space while they figure life out.

They don’t need answers all the time.
They need listening.

The Cost of Confusion

A confused child often grows into:

• An adult who is afraid to make decisions

• A professional who constantly seeks approval

• A human being disconnected from what they truly love

And none of this comes from lack of talent.
It comes from years of not being trusted to think.

A Simple Shift for Parents

If there is one shift parents can make, it is this:

Move from “I know what is right for you”
to
“Help me understand what feels right to you.”

Listening does not mean agreeing.
It means respecting the child as a thinking human being.

Your role is not to live life for them.
Your role is to walk with them—especially when they are unsure.

Closing Thought

When young people are told, “Don’t convince your parents,” it is not rebellion.
It is exhaustion.

And when parents learn to listen instead of impose, something beautiful happens:

• Confusion reduces

• Trust increases

• Conversations deepen

Children don’t need perfect parents.
They need present parents.

Parents who listen.

Parents who trust.

Parents who don’t confuse them while trying to protect them.